Do you feel ashamed?
You are not alone! Just know, that "feeling" doesn't have to be the end.
Hi, we are Clark & Linda and we have experienced addiction & betrayal in our marriage. There we said it!
What's your name? What's your story? We promise it gets easier every time you share it.
We used to feel deeply ashamed of where we were. Ashamed of the addiction, ashamed about being betrayed by your forever sweetheart, ashamed we didn't know each other the way we thought and ashamed to share our story for fear of judgement and even more shame.
We are here to share our story to help you know you are not alone in yours. No matter where you are in your journey of life, we know you'll find healing when you have the right tools.
The REAL ugly crying is on YouTube
Sometimes you just need to see our facial expressions! We are certainly sharing real and raw emotions here because we know you need them to help you. We hope you'll watch as a couple so you can pause and talk about things.
Subscribe to the audio only Podcast
Prefer to listen on the DL (Down low)? I get that! Subscribe to the podcast version. There's real emotion and it sounds as if we were chatting with you in the room. Remember we are here and you're not alone in this!
100 Affirmations for Men, Print it & Save it!
Because every man needs to be reminded he is a son of God with purpose, meaning and direction! Women need them too and we will have one for women soon, but for now lets arm our men because they need it.
You, are not your sins!
"I'm a son of God who is struggling with addiction. You are not your sin!" - Clark Winegar
"We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Hope Works, Dr. Matt Townsend
Out With The Old, In With The New!
There are 5 Stages of Trauma (Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Mourning & Acceptance) Be patient with yourself if you have been betrayed. "Anger is powerful catalyst, or a life sucking companion." Brene Brown. Episode 7
5 Sisters Experience Betrayal Trauma
These are some of Linda's "Warrior Women." They have fought similar battles in betrayal trauma and continue to fight and stand together. Sisters, get a group! You will be blessed for it and you will gain such sweet friendships and be able to learn from each others fighting techniques too. Episode 17
Q & A
How long have you been married?
21 yrs and have had a couple of "D" days. "Disclosure" or "Discovery" day. Depends on how you found out.
Did you think you would stay together after D Days?
The first D day we thought it was no big deal, Clark could get help and just stop, is what we both honestly thought. Then the other 2 D days helped us to understand the real fight we were in and that it wasn't going to go away easily, so those were really hard for Linda. She really needed the freedom to be able to choose to leave and freedom to stay, in order to feel she could stay and fight this specific fight we are in. We still take it one day at a time, not that our marriage is that volatile but that if you ever feel trapped in your relationship, that can magnify the trauma you experience as one who has been betrayed.
What program helped Clark?
Clark had tried the 12 Step Program from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and while it was helpful it was only temporary. He ended up joining the Men of Moroni Program provided by Life Changing Services and it has provided him the necessary techniques, strategies & tools he needs to continue to fight and protect himself against the adversary's attacks on his self-mastery. Clark strongly suggests you join an in person Clinician Led Group. If you are not local, join a Clinician Led Group virtually.
What program helped Linda?
Clark tried to tell her about the WORTH Program which is also provided by Life Changing Services for free, for the women who have husbands using the Men of Moroni Program to learn sexual self-mastery . She refused to go at first but eventually went and that is when she finally was able to start feeling like she was making progress in her healing. She found sisters who were experiencing the same things she could confide in and relate to and they help each other and strengthen each other with each meeting. She also suggests a Clinician Led Group, only because that is what she experienced.
Did you tell the kids? Did you tell extended family?
How we told the Kids Ep 15. Yes, we did. We did it in a way that was age appropriate for our children at the time and actually still talk about it and how we can continue to stay strong in our fight against the adversary . As for our families, we did tell them and honestly it was just good for Linda to know it was out in the open and she didn't need to keep secrets anymore.
How we told Family Ep 14. Clark actually was the one who led the conversation and the one who admitted to having a pornography addiction and also providing data about how it can affect the wife of an addict. This actually allowed our families the ability to show extra compassion, patience and space as Linda needed extra time to heal and possibly not go to certain family activities and continues to help as we say no to certain movies or music.